THE SHALLOWS
Film Review by Fiore

One of the most successfully films of all time was JAWS. However, that movie involved three men,
representing three different strata of society, thrown together in a microcosm universe
to hunt the menace of a great white shark.
But in today’s Hollywood mind set, anything a man can do, a woman can do
better. Thus we have Blake Lively
battling a similar shark in THE
SHALLOWS, a movie guaranteed to be worse than the box office draws
indicate.
Former Outtakes with Fiore producer Buzz Bastian
saw THE SHALLOWS and quickly
posted on Facebook his amazement and appreciation of Lively’s derriere. In fact, he suggested if said body part were
put on a postage stamp, it could solve the USPS financial difficulties. Under Buzz’s guidance and tutelage, Outtakes
with Fiore won numerous TV production awards and he is still a key
figure in the industry. While Buzz may
be onto something for solving the government’s delivery system’s economic woes,
Lively’s seat has a little under a minute of camera spotlight and in a two-hour
movie, that won’t justify the cost of a ticket.

No gun, no boat and no Matt Hooper, she engages the
animal with only the tide and a buoy.
She takes her lumps, but remember, this is a strong, independent woman,
so she is able to endure and survive better than Leo DiCaprio in THE REVENANT. The shark may be powerful, three tons of
savage rage and muscle, but she is a woman, hear her roar, so naturally, the
shark has no chance.
KEY SCENES TO LOOK FOR:
1.
The
breaching scene
2.
The
nom nom nom of the buoy.
3.
The
drunk

Lively, regardless of the
value put
on her buttocks, does not equal the drama or talent of the trio of Shaw,
Dreyfuss and Schneider.
Maybe director Jaume Collet-Serra
should have had three women trapped on that atoll when the tide went out.
THE GRADE FOR THE SHALLOWS = F
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