SUSPIRIA Report Card

REPORT CARD

SUSPIRIA – Amazon Studios

SUMMARY: Grade = C	The producers took an original, mundane horror tale, and wrapped it up with bows, ribbons and sparkles.  Bottom line:  it’s still just a tale of witches, and not a very creative one at that.
ACTING Grade = B	Kudos to Dakota.  It appears she went through intense training to perform the bizarre dance moves required in the ceremony scenes.  Tilda continues to embody the androgynous person; the look all progressives would want us to aspire.
SCRIPT Grade = F	A mass of unnecessary adornments added to the story. The witch fight dance scene is particularly gruesome. When Suspiria is revealed, why does she rip open her chest to reveal a cancerous, rotten vagina inside?  This certainly can’t be the message women want viewers to see? Enough plot holes to fill a donut bag. It boils down to Glenda’s question:  “Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?”
TECHNICAL: Grade = B	Cinematography is exceptional, especially the aerial shots. The sound is impressive during the dance numbers.
IMPRESSIONS:	This version of the movie takes Hollywood’s Woman Warrior Agenda to a new, unbelievable and repulsive level. Simultaneously, the script blames one of the world’s most powerful woman for both the rise of the Nazis and the Muslim terrorists.  A bold statement Hollywood would never make, but the Germans and Italians are less PC. The film is like a train wreck; you keep looking, but don’t know why.
STARS	Dakota Johnson; Tilda Swinton; Mia Goth; Chloe Grace Moretz; Jessica Harper.
TECH FOLKS:	Director – Luca Guadagnino Cinematography – Sayombhu Mukdeeprom Production Design – Inbal Weinberg Editor – Walter Fasano Make up – Fernanda Perez
RECOMMENDATIONS:	If your woman is feeling hostile, and you want to allow her to vent, have her watch this movie.  It should dissipate her anger and provide her with an aura of dominance.