FOR TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE:
Film Review by Fiore
There are two types of people in the cinema world;
those who think PROMETHEUS was a good film, and those who realize it was
nothing but excrement on celluloid. The
former will probably find some value in ALIEN: COVENANT. Luckily, those people are a minority and a
contagion and should be prevented from any social activity for the safety of
others. The latter will see ALIEN:
COVENANT as Ridley Scott’s celluloid apology for PROMETHEUS and his lame
attempt to return the ALIEN franchise to its iconic
origins.
ALIEN:
COVENANT is an arrogant humanist display. If we follow the story line, the only element
in the entire universe that can be responsible for creating a creature like
Alien, is man. What hubris! A large part of the horror element in Scott’s
first ALIEN was the mystery surrounding the creature. How did this creature come to be? Why is it so destructive? What world could possibly spawn it? The original Alien was similar to the Borg on
STAR
TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION.
There
was no need to seek their origins and discover why they were so nasty. They were the antagonists, and needed
destroyed. Once Paramount attempted to
find the cause for the Borg’s assimilation mission, they were no longer an
intergalactic threat. The same scenario
now exists with ALIEN. There is no
cinematic reason to discover the origins of the creature. Yet, Scott and 20th Century Fox
opted to pursue this story line. Guess
what? In all the universe, the only
living creature capable of creating something as fearsome as Alien is (wait for
it…) man! With this, the entire mystique of an evil,
predatory space creature loses all its impact.
Scott must realize the deviation was lame, because he
spends most of ALIEN: COVENANT attempting to restore the Alien to its original
glory. Unfortunately, the damage may
already be too devastating.
There are two types of people following the Alien
franchise; those who recognize from the first film that Alien is
indestructible, “the perfect organism which instantly adapts to any
environment.” And then there are those who buy the Stan Winston nonsense of
Alien being a type of insect on steroids, with hives, queens and the ability to
be squashed like bugs. Those folks are
wrong. Scott profusely reiterates the
original premise in ALIEN: COVENANT, calling the Alien once again, “the perfect
organism” and attesting to its indestructability. Yeah, too little, too late.
Speaking of reverting, ALIEN: COVENANT features
a female heroine (can you say surrogate Sigourney Weaver?), an attempt to blow
the Alien off the ship into space (can you say similar ending?), a fight
between the heroine and the Alien involving a mechanical loading device (can
you say been-there, saw-that?).
Charlie Henley is the Special Effects
Supervisor. He creates alien worlds from
Australian backlands and utilizes the H. R. Geiger designs with aplomb. Unfortunately, some of the backscapes have
lackluster matting, resembling a 1980’s poor blue screen look. The aliens must go through a quick evolution,
which is a method of connecting PROMETHEUS with ALIEN: COVENANT. There is nothing quite as good as Alien, but
we are subjected to a litany of incarnations that seem to be a deprived mating
between the Pillsbury DoughBoy and the Michelin TireMan.
Pietro Scalia, as Editor, keeps the movie to two hours. He is dealing with a large sympathy letter,
however, and no amount of cutting can fix a weak script. The first two-thirds of ALIEN: COVENANT are
tedious. The ship’s crew contains an
interracial and a homosexual couple; not because they are germane to the story,
but because the tenants of multiculturalism must be shoved down the throats of
the viewing public. There is a trite
subplot of artificial intelligence vs. humans and the overplayed psychotic
robot ploy. With sporadic action scenes
tossed in periodically, it isn’t until the final twenty minutes that viewers
see action with the Alien we all know and love.
A little help from writer John Logan may have made Scalia’s job less
yeoman.
Let’s take a look at the report card for ALIEN:
COVENANT:
1.1 ACTING = C
1.2 CINEMATOGRAPHY = B
1.3 SOUND/MUSIC = B
1.4 EDITING = C
1.5 LIGHTING = C
1.6 SCRIPT = D
1.7 SFX = C
1.8 ACTION = B
The spaceship Covenant is on a colony expedition with
over 2,000 colonists and embryos traveling to Origae-6, a journey of eight
years. An energy burst and a ghost
message awakens the crew early and presents them with a much closer, Eden like
planet as a possible substitute. When
they explore the planet, they discover the remnants of the Prometheus project
and the psychotic AI obsessed with creating the perfect lifeform. Their colonization mission now becomes one of
survival.
Starring in a dual role is Michael Fassbender, who
should have taken a few lessons from Brent Spiner for the parts. Katherine Waterston plays Daniels, and is
never convincing as a woman warrior. Danny McBride is Tennessee. Normally a comedic actor, McBride is the only
member of the cast who provides a credible performance. ALIEN: COVENANT also stars Billy
Crudup; Demia Bichir; Carmen Ejogo; and in an uncredited cameo, Guy Pierce.
1.9 KEY SCENES TO LOOK FOR:
1.
THE TALL GRASSY ATTACK
2.
THE BATTLE ON THE SHIP
The Alien franchise is
becoming almost as muddled as the X-Men franchise, and that is not a good
thing. I commend Scott for attempting to
return to his original sci-fi horror classic, but truly everything from ALIENS
to ALIEN:
COVENANT, is easily nothing more than a box
office money grab. Sci-fi fans should
watch the last thirty minutes of ALIEN: COVENANT. It will provide reboots of key scenes from
the first two films. The rest of
ALIEN: COVENANT is only for geeks with short and selective memories.
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