JURASSIC WORLD FALLEN KINGDOM

Film Review by FIORE

If you gave several small children a bag full of dinosaurs, dumped them on the floor and told them to play, they would come up with a storyline better than Derek Connolly and Colin Trevorrow did for JURASSIC WORLD FALLEN KINGDOM.  It’s obvious these two had as their only motivation for the film the concept of placing dinosaurs in a large mansion with people; much like Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich did by putting little Godzillas in Madison Square Garden in Matthew Broderick’s GODZILLA.

Until this film, the lamest script in the franchise was JURASSIC PARK III, concerning a group of plumbers attempting a rescue on a dinosaur filled island.  The script for JURASSIC WORLD FALLEN KINGDOM is more inane.  It lacks any adult type decision making, continuity or incisive dialogue.  Even Dr. Ian Malcom’s (Jeff Goldblum) diatribe to congress is filled with nonsensical platitudes.  He tells them man and dinosaurs can’t live together, then they spend the next two and a half hours trying to reside in the same country side estate. 

Under the guidance and tutelage of Director J. A. Bavona JURASSIC WORLD FALLEN KINGDOM is filled with celluloid chaos designed only to allow the dinos to raid the screen.  Even the action is inconsistent as man and beasts seem to move freely through the various levels of the mansion without regard for crucial items as gravity and geography.

In addition to Goldblum’s cameo appearance, Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, and BD Wong all reprise their respective roles.  New to this cast: Rafe Spall as antagonist Eli Mills; James Cromwell as Benjamin Lockwood, the billionaire conservationist and dino bleeding heart; and Justice Smith as Franklin Webb who serves to fill all the minority parts not present in the first JURASSIC WORLD as he plays an effeminate, black nerd.  Multiculturalism preserved, Hollywood lives another day.  Finally, there is another cameo by a veteran actor.  Geraldine Chaplin plays Iris, the Lockwood house keeper.

It's three years since the disaster at JURASSIC WORLD caused by the Indominus Rex.  The volcano on the island is now active and erupting.  A social fight is occurring in America where some folk say let nature take its course and have the dinosaurs die with the island, while the other faction wants to save the dinos at all costs because they are, afterall, living creatures.  American is the only country worried about this, as other nations are busy securing their borders and shoring up their national defense systems.   We do however, see several BBC reports on the island’s destruction, because in reality, the producers could not list any American news outlets without being tagged fake news, save for Fox, and there is no way Tinseltown will allow that transgression.

To solve the dilemma, Lockwood makes his intentions known to save eleven dino species and relocate them to an uninhabited island called The Sanctuary.  Apparently, there was a close personal relationship between Lockwood and Dr. John Hammond (the late Richard Attenborough) from the original JURASSIC PARK.  Of course, this is a new relationship never before hinted to in any of the other films; a type of deus ex machina to provide a similar benevolent character.

All goes swimmingly well until the crew attempts to round up the creatures from Isla Nublar and they first encounter Blue, the people friendly velociraptor and JURASSIC WORLD’S answer to Barney.  The encounter is nonsensical and involves a series of terrible plot twists designed to doom the remainder of the film.  Not content with the island debacle, Lockwood’s financial manager schemes to sell the dinos to rare species collectors and hold the auction on the Lockwood estate, turning  Mills, into the poster child for curing mental retardation; and the lunacy of the script compounds proportionately.

Though the script is insipid, the dinos are cool.  If I log one complaint, its that the concept of the colorful, feathered dinosaur has yet to reach Spielberg.  All the dinos are the same, drab, greyish brown color.  The exception is the pachycephalosaurs who is burnt orange, and though only in two scenes, manages to establish himself as the star of the movie.

JURASSIC WORLD FALLEN KINGDOM is strictly for kids and dino lovers.  The special effects are first rate, the dinos look cool and all dino attacks, save one, are edited for gore.  Children will be able to see the film, and still sleep well at night.  Plus, in typical Spielberg fashion, there is another annoying child who comes in to save the day for everyone.

Grab the popcorn, root for the dinos, but don’t look for a solid sci-fi story.  It’s just not present in this outing.